Portable bidets and toilets that sings for you while it sprays your butt

 During one of our classes we came into the subject of Japanese culture and things we most likely never will see in Europe. One of our teachers showed ut this small flask and asked us to guess what it was. We opened the lid, pressed the cap, twisted it, smelled it, turned it upsidedown and shook it but we couldn't figure out what it was.

A portable bidet. You fill it with water, extend the nozzle, press the bottle and a stream of water would shoot out. This is apparently not that uncommon among Japanese who travel abroad a lot to bring with them. This was one of the more odd toiletries I have seen and was very sceptical about its use. Our teacher suggested that we should try using one of the more modern toilets in Japan with a built-in bidet next time we get the chance.

First time I visited Japan and I saw the toilet in the hotel bathroom I thought it was a joke. At least ten different buttons with clear pictograms of what functions it sported except one with music notes. It couldn't be the button for making noise to hide the sound when using the bathroom, that one I already tried. My previous button experiments told me to either sit down or face away from the toilet trying an unknown button so I pressed the button and backed away. It started singing. The toilet started to sing for me and I can't remember how I reacted, but I must've not tried it again.

I asked my teacher about why a toilet would sing for you and apparently parents in Japan sang for their kids when they went to the bathroom so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable about any sound they made. Huh, never heard about that in Sweden.

When I came back home I did as my teacher recommended and tried the automatic toilet and the bidet function and was ready to defend my honor and life in case the seat would become sentient and overthrow humanity. I was pleasantly surprised and felt much cleaner than normal. I think it will feel strange not having that when going back to Sweden.

Expenses

• None, you can't put a price on knowledge even if it is about butt hygiene