Currently sitting in a Starbucks near my share house in Korakuen enjoying an overpriced beverage with too many words in its name. Thinking what to write.
Many things have been going through my mind lately, as they seem to do from time to time. I don't really know where to start. I have lately been so mentally exhausted with school and work at the same time that I don't know what I am doing from time to time. I can't remember what I did last week, much less what I studied or enjoyed.
Since I came to Japan I have met many wonderful people, even if we only met once I got a new interesting perspective on things, all of them with their own experiences, life goals, ideas and opinions. I have been surprised, shocked even, in many cases when talking to them. I have been asked many questions that never crossed my mind, shown life styles I couldn't even dream of, and at times I have felt overwhelmed by all this new information. Thinking that you at least know half of what the world has a to offer and then shown that it is not even close can be a bit scary.
And while I do love being in Japan, the novelty is slowly starting to wear off, or rather I feel like it might be time to move and move on, and if want to start the next chapter of my life. But I don't know how or what. It's like a writers block but for your life decisions. Find a job? Apply for a different subject outside of Japanese? What else is there to do?
And this whole relationship thing. It still feels so foreign to me. I thought you just meet the right person and you know that this is the person you want to spend your life with. But seriously, that sounds so naive. How many times have I not felt this before just to have it crushed or doubted into dust?
I was asked by an acquaintance "well, what can YOU provide in a relationship?". Am I to provide something? Security? Comfort? Money? Doesn't at least the two first come naturally?
